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---Literature and Artworks by Amaranth Levana---
*All images/artworks/literature/blurbs in this blog are all by me (and the three voices in my head), unless stated otherwise. For special permissions please contact YuAmaLev via email amaranth.levana21@gmail.com*

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Silent Love Confessions 1-2: Library



**this is Part 2. Part 1 of this story is here: Link**


Library Part 2: Sorry…


“I’m sorry, Camilla.”


Sorry…

A word so simple… so plain… yet so deep. What does it really mean to feel sorry? Is it that nagging feeling of lament over something you lost? Is it the enormous regret for letting things happen when you know you could have just avoided it? Is it that intense pain stabbing your heart as you walk away from the most important thing you could have possibly had? Is it the same thing as acknowledging the guilt of leaving and at the same time losing? Is it inflicting pain on someone while receiving twice the blow? Or is it the frustration of knowing, but not knowing what to do?


If it is… then that was exactly what Andrew was feeling.


Andrew turned and walked away feeling a terrible pain in his chest… each step felt so heavy… his mind kept repeating his own words…


“I’m sorry.”


Feeling sorry…


…So sorry…


He turned back only to find Camilla still watching him. There was not even a bit of anger to taint her tender angelic face. She just looked at him with her gentle eyes, a small calm smile on her lips. It was as if she was telling him not to worry… don’t be sorry…


It’s unfair isn’t it? Being the one who rejected but feeling the most regret…


He wished she would not look at him that way… he hoped she would just be angry… it was his entire fault to begin with… if only he left her alone, there wouldn’t have been broken hearts… there wouldn’t have been a reason to say sorry…


“Will I see you again tomorrow, Camilla?”


The way her face brightened up sent trillions of tiny needles to prick his heart.


“Maybe.”


Unlike all the other times, he couldn’t force himself to smile. It was as if from the depths of his soul he knew, it’s not “maybe” but more probably “maybe not”.


The world outside his box goes on moving…


The clock will soon resume its ticking…


When the clock’s face changes, will he ever see Camilla again?


Maybe not.


It has always been “maybe not”… There had never been an assurance of how long he could keep Camilla inside that box with him… That’s the reason why there were no promises…


But which would be a greater regret?


He felt his own feet move. An invisible force pulled him to get closer to Camilla’s sweet smile. He slowly reached out his hand to touch Camilla’s cheek and he felt a warm tear fall on it from her eye.


Hush…


There was no need for words…


In that library, where silence is the only language spoken and understood by everyone, two hearts feed on sorry…


Sorry for they know everything will soon end…


Sorry for the future that will never come…




-=Epilogue: Conclusion to a dream…


“Can I help you?”


Camilla could only give the old man she had purposely disturbed while he was silently mourning a shy smile.


“My name is Camilla. I knew your son, Andrew.”


The old man watched as the girl who was burnt all over her arms and legs knelt down on the grass and touched his son’s gravestone. He’d never met her before but it was like she had been so close to Andrew.


“Were you in that library when it caught fire?”


Camilla nodded.



"My son never made it to the hospital... he died instantly. I always hope it hadn't been too painful for him..."


"It wasn't. He said he lost consciousness and wasn't even aware of what happened."




"What?" By this time, the old man could only think that the girl had gone crazy...


“I was saved but was comatose…”


When the girl raised her head to look at the man, he saw tears flowing endlessly from her eyes. He felt an indescribable chill run through his spine when she continued…


“And then I met your son…”


Silent Love Confessions: Library END. =-




© AmaranthLevana 2010 

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