..whatever..

---Literature and Artworks by Amaranth Levana---
*All images/artworks/literature/blurbs in this blog are all by me (and the three voices in my head), unless stated otherwise. For special permissions please contact YuAmaLev via email amaranth.levana21@gmail.com*

Friday, September 3, 2010

Are You EMO?

EMO, from the word itself "Emotional", or as we say in Filipino "Emotero" or "Emotera"... "mga taong mahilig mag-emote." Before it became a subculture following the shadows of goths, Emo's have long populated this earth. Before it became a trend, being "emo" (emotional) was a normal everyday occurrence to most of us. Deny all you want, but I'm sure there was a time in your life (even a single time) when you have embraced your sorrows, sat in silence while you watched the darkness around you, listened to sad love songs or sometimes rage music, hated yourself and hated the world... there was a point in your life when you existed in your own bubble protecting yourself from everything else outside that might hurt you... there was a time in your life when you felt a terrible heartbreak and thought that you'd never be able to feel whole again... that time, you were EMO.

Being EMO is more than just a trend... it is more than just fashion... it is facing the reality that you are human enough to feel negative emotions every once in a while. Don't get me wrong, I totally detest those who become so EMO that they start to hurt themselves or other people... I see no point in wounding yourself (slitting your wrists and posting gross pictures on FB or Friendster or wherever), getting drunk and jumping into senseless fights or hi-jacking a bus full of tourists and taking everyone hostage (I don't mean anything by this, it's just an example, it could be a plane or a jeepney and it may or may not include tourists), these kinds of gimmicks are things that would lead nowhere but embarrassment and endless negative reactions. Being EMO gives you the right to feel... to be human... Being EMO does not require you to pierce every part of your body, wear dark clothes or disturbing make-up and cut your hair so that you have sided bangs covering half your face. Embracing your emotions is simple and it does not have to lead to utter insanity.

My spiritual daddy once sang to me (or I think he did because he wrote song lyrics as his comment on one of my-I'm-so-depressed-blogposts way back in '04) "The Sounds of Silence", you know, the one that goes "Hello, darkness my old friend... I've come to talk with you again..." somehow, it makes sense how a disturbing scene could turn into such a famous song with haunting yet sweet melody. I don't know the rest of the lyrics to this song, but my point is, emotions are there for a reason just like everything else... and just like everything else, your own choices would determine a positive or negative effect.

In my case, whenever I feel "EMO" I take that as a chance to create. I'm not saying that I'm so great, but I could claim that I could look back at the times when I felt EMO and not see myself on the verge of suicide or parricide. So, just a friendly advice, the next time you feel depressed, grab a pen and paper; draw, doodle, write a poem, write a novel or write a journal. Who knows what kind of masterpiece that heavy emotion could pull out of you, right? Make use of that sadness, write a sad song... make use of that heartbreak, create a captivating picture... make use of that pain... share it in a way that you'd be able to touch the hearts of people without making a complete fool out of yourself.


Here are some VERY-EMO examples of journal entries (for the broken-hearted mainly) and some tips:

1. Find inspiration in a sad song or an old theme-song (rage music works too)

"Memories... as always flood my mind every time I hear this familiar song. Mixed emotions battle their way through my tangled and complicatedly-structured veins and into my fist-sized cardiac muscle (This is perfect if you want to sound all RN-like, lol). Emotions of sadness, joy, fear, loneliness, self-pity, anger and a lot more undefinable sensations within (A lot more, think of all the adjectives, come on!). Yes, indeed I can tell... I am still in deep pain. But why? Why can't I still resist the invasion of this invisible phenomenon constantly recurring every time this stupid song is played? (Grab your dictionary and use the most uncommon word that you can find, it doesn't have to make sense, it's your journal anyway.)
Why until now? (Fillers. Very important.)
It has been quite sometime anyway...
Why am I still trapped in this pool of memories?
Sweet...
Agonizing...
Idiotically-made
Memories..." (Staccato always makes a good impression. Makes a journal entry seem like an article.)


2. Engage in Soliloquy. If you have an old photo or if you simply just can't get that person's face out of your mind, take that as a chance to say the things you want to say or in this example's case, ask questions. Remember to be poetic, it makes whining sound classy. ^_^

Why did you walk into my life,
Only to ruin my faith,
break my heart,
and hurt my pride?
Why did you make me smile once,
Only to make me cry a thousand times,
Make a river flow out of my tears,
And leave me suffering alone? (What the heck? No rhyme?)
Why did you let me love you,
only to satisfy your ego, (That rhymes "-ish". lol.)
Make me beg for your love,
and fool me unknowingly? (I have a feeling nothing else will rhyme after this...)
Why did you let me fight a battle,
an endless battle for your love,
your love that you know yourself,
I can never have. (Yes, I thought so. Well, at least the paragraph is arranged to seem like a poem.)

3. Last but not least, look back on the times that you were happy and then amidst all the confusion of joy and sadness, right before you snap, grab a pen and write a poem. *_*

(Happy part first)
I was so down when you came,
My life was filled with sorrow and pain,
You wiped them away in such a sweet way,
Now, I will never forget the hero I found in you.
(I just want to point out the advantage of this paragraph: It's recyclable! tee-hee)
Whenever I'm deep succumbing trouble,
You will appear from nowhere to make me smile,
You will stay with me all the while,
That makes me thankful for the friend I found in you.
(Now, let's get a little more cheesy by ripping off songs and fairy tales. o_o)
You are my sinner, my saint,
My foe, my best friend,
You're my beast, you're my prince,
I found in you my everything.

For the times I wanted to cry a river, (Justin Timberlake, I choose you!)
You came to be my crying shoulder, (And Edwin Mccain?)
Put up funny faces to make me laugh,
Alas, A brother I found in you. (If you're into incest and stuff...)
(And for the mushiness overkill!)
You are my January to December,
My autumn, spring, summer and winter,
You're forever, you're eternity,
I found in you my destiny.
(Back to reality... everything has to be in past tense)
You were my strength, my weakness,
My fulfillment, my emptiness,
You were my sorrow, you were my joy,
My love, my heartbreak.

You were my all, you were my only,
My 1-2-3, my ABC,
The smile on my lips, the tears in my eyes,
My hellos and my goodbyes.
(Ok, I'm running out of extremes and opposites...)

You were my courage, my fears,
My days, months and years,
You quenched my hunger and thirst,
You were my last yet my first.
(Rhyming is TOUGH!)

You shared with me time and gave me space,
You filled my embrace,
I will never forget your gentle face,
S.O.B., you left without a trace.
(Or any other curse word that you find appropriate.)
So, that's all folks! What a long entry... Thanks for reading! ^_^

"Writing does not cause misery, it is born of misery." - Stephen King (Misery)

© AmaranthLevana 2010 


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